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  • Writer's pictureCasey Girard

A Letter to 21 Year Old Me

Dear Younger-Self,

Slow down. Stop chasing scraps of affection. What you are feeling is not love. No. No. No. I know what you are thinking. I did not say you are hard to love. Get that out of your head. They were wrong. All of them. You are not too sensitive. You are not too loud. You are not too emotional. In fact, these are your strengths. Things are going to get scary, but you are going to get through it.

Part of me wishes I could save you the pain and heartache of the next decade, but then the sweetness of now would not taste as good. You would not become me without the pain, loss, and loneliness. I want you to know you do find acceptance, and unconditional love. Hang on. The man you marry will not only love your flaws, but help you love them too. You will never get an apology from those who hurt you, and that is okay. Be happy anyway.

Remember: If he wanted to, he would.

It is as simple as that. In fact, that does not just apply to love. Stop chasing people. Anybody and everybody.

Also, Keep writing. Looking back, I am learning nobody encouraged you to dream. So, Dream, baby girl. You are capable of big things. It does not matter if they will not read it. Write for you, and nobody else.


Your space is sacred, you absorb the energy and emotions of those around you. Learn to harness this tool, before it suffocates you.


Real love is not shiny. Romance has a new angle after three kids, and a few years of marriage. As I write this, you have been with your husband for eight imperfect years. Some days you cannot stand the way he chews his food, and other days you must refrain from hanging off him like a koala because you can’t get close enough. There is a lot about love that you, I mean I, still do not understand, but I do know you cannot be scared. You must be vulnerable. Nobody can love you if you do not let them in. And believe me, it feels so good to be safe.


Your circle of friends shrinks… a lot. Most of those “ride or die” friends do not give a fuck about you. Do not worry though, the good ones stick around. These relationships get better with age.


The year is 2021, and you have created a family. Both literally and figuratively. You are still healing, but at least now you know why. You have three healthy children. You are loved, and you are in love. You are learning to love yourself, and you get better at it every day. You have a beautiful home for you and your littles to continue blossoming, together. Life is still hard sometimes, but you are happy.


Happy Valentine’s Day, Little Casey.

All My Love,

31 year old Me




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